Ian Kerner’s book, the author of “She Comes First”, focuses on the pleasuring of a woman as a man. This book looks at this focal point with fine detail. The mystery of the female satisfaction is examined and justified thoroughly. Ian Kerner does not hesitate to go in depth about the powerful nature of a female orgasm. “She Comes First” can appeal to both genders as it boasts a wealth of knowledge on sex. As a man you can learn many tips and find out some secrets to truly please a woman. For a woman’s perspective what you want and how you want it is explained deeply. Both sexes can directly relate to the book as many realistic events and situations are examined. Kerner emphasizes throughout the book, the importance of a healthy sex life between couples and the benefits associated with it. The author’s approach to the book is commendable as he tried to tap inside the complexity of pleasing a woman and makes it seem as a simple and easy task. There is a genuine nature in his writing that he wants the people involved in the sex to care much about each other even before the sex has begun. He focuses on the significance of “foreplay” through “coreplay” leading to “moreplay”. These ideologies surround the fact of teasing a woman to an orgasm and enjoying the experience with her. Building sexual tension to the point where at climax it is mind-blowing. The idea behind the book is not to rush the lovemaking but to revel in the love making thus evolving a healthy sexual relationship. It is an easy-going read and simple to comprehend. The material in this book is essential and provides the platform for sexual She Comes First on a mutual level. The book is repetitive because the author wants to get his message across. The book also has tons of advice on sexual positions that are tend to reach a woman orgasm.
Kerner states that the female body, mind, and soul all need to be fully attentive and aroused for the orgasm to occur. The first couple chapters of the book pay close attention to the anatomy of the female body and all the parts that are connected to the clitoris. The clitoris has 18 distinctive parts and 8,000 nerve endings making it already supremely sensitive to touch. Knowing this fact the author’s philosophy was to get readers to understand that the slightest touch can trigger the biggest orgasm. Kerner is quoted as saying, “When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man’s native tongue.” Cunnilingus or “coreplay” as described by the author is the sexual oral act performed on the female genitalia. The author gives insight to a man on the power of his tongue on the clit and the unbelievable pleasure it can bring to a woman. The tongue is given plenty weight in this book and rightly so. The tender nature of the tongue can influence a woman orgasm by licking the highly sensitive clitoris.
A woman needs to feel a high level of comfort from her mate to give herself to the moment and climax. Comfort is key to the pleasure as the woman can be at peace of mind and relax her body. Let us look at the three different yet inter-related avenues that Kerner centered his research on that consistently assisted in a woman’s orgasm.
1. “You enjoy it as much as she does.”
The book gives confidence to men all over the world and the advice is unparalleled to any woman pleasure guide out there. These words are simple to understand but carry so much value in improving your sexual experience for you and her. The opportunity that you have to please your woman should be appreciated. The book explains that the way to do this is by allowing yourself to take pleasure in satisfying your woman. Ian Kerner illustrates that to truly express a good sexual connection and feeling to another you must first love what you are doing yourself.
2. “There’s no rush”
The author’s concept around this statement is that it is not a race. The time you are to make love to your wife should be cherished. Simply put, sex should not be rushed. The time allocated for sex should be used to its greatest potential. This declaration is self-explanatory but holds a lot of substance as men often try to rush through this special time. Kerner wants his male readers to acknowledge that there is a woman in front of them and to take the moment to appreciate this truth. Appreciate the reality by making the most of every second and stop focusing on the outcome. Again, this book understands a man’s approach to sex and wants the man to like the entire build up to the orgasm, not just the orgasm. This quote definitely shines light on this topic.
3. “Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence.”
Is a line that stands out firmly from the book as it shows how a woman is connected to her whole being. By this line the reader can come to a realization that a woman senses are in-tuned with her. By involving all the senses in the sex the intensity would increase, as she would feel you and her are fully into each other. This excerpt from the book, stresses that a woman comfort lies not only in her body but also beyond that and is on a deeper level.
Comfort is crucial for incredible sexual pleasure. Comfort comes from the environment created in the sex as taught in the novel. To fully understand the nature of the book one must read with an open mind. As it is entitled “She Comes First” majority of attention is positioned on the woman. Many male readers would not want to read this because it hardly focuses on sexual oral pleasure on their genitals. But, Ian gave a vital tip to men that should be grasped and not forgotten.
Kerner said, “In many ways, though, my tongue was the mentor to my penis, and taught it to behave like a gentleman.”
Many men may object to this reference but it makes complete sense. Women often turn down men when they are too forward or thinking with their penis all the time. The similarity of his penis to a gentleman makes sense because a maturity level is seen higher than sex but enjoyment in the experience. The penis would wait its’ turn after the tongue has pleasured the clitoris and then be involved. This gentleman like behavior of the penis can add to the anticipation for the woman and amplify sexual tension. I would forever remember this quote, as I too would like my penis to act as a gentleman to fully please my mate.
The author has a philosophy on sexual intimacy and has courageously shared it with the world. Not every man and woman is the same and some aspects of what was said may not apply to every person in the universe. Yet, it is quality research to read that can change your perception on many things in life. So it was refreshing to read reliable data on how to properly make love to a woman. The author’s sexual tips can be put into practice at once and a vast improvement in the entire sexual experience can occur immediately.
In conclusion, I do believe all women love variety. This book focuses on many ways to pleasure a woman. I think, a woman would never ever fully be satisfied by a man and would always want more. So is the same for a man. Yes, this book is a great guide to improve sexual relations but it is not a guarantee that if you follow these steps there would have an orgasm every single time. The possibility of an orgasm may be enlightened but not promised. An orgasm is all up to the woman and if anyone on this earth thinks they can fully understand the mind of anyone has to be crazy. I think a female would always look for new ways to reach her orgasm and no one method will always work. For me the key to a healthy sexual relationship is honesty and communication.